


what we lost along the way

by navaan



Category: Avengers (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Canonical Minor Character Death mentioned, Character Study, Civil War (Marvel), Community: comicdrabbles, Ficlet, Introspection, Love/Hate, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During <i>Civil War</i> Steve really doesn't want to think of Tony, but it's hard not to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what we lost along the way

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [comicdrabbles](http://comicdrabbles.livejournal.com/) prompt #074 sketchbook.

It isn't the first time he has to go into hiding, It's not even the first time he's on the run. 

He knows that all the “rebels”, all the heroes who like him think Registration is a mistake, look to him for guidance. But tonight he only feels exhausted. 

Sam pats him on the back and tells him to get some rest, as he'll need it. Steve nods but stays where he is, watches the people around him, walking in and out of the room, taking turns at guarding their little hideout, talking about friends that are now enemies, family that might be worried about them. 

“Sharon sends you this,” Sam says and sets a cardboard box of things down on the table beside him. “She couldn't get much, but she thought you'd feel better having something from the apartment.”

He nods again, tries to smile, but his lips aren't moving. Sam just nods back, own expression grave. They both know this is as bad as it gets. Hydra is still out there. Bucky might be out there. And now he's too busy running from the law, running from _Tony_ , or more precisely planning to take down Iron Man again in a fight.

And, god, he is so angry. Bill is dead, and Tony - Tony was right at the heart of everything that was wrong and just now he can _see_ him on TV, Happy Hogan holding an umbrella for him at Bill's funeral, _looking like hell_. It only serves to make him more angry, livid.

Tony left him a message via an emergency protocol they implemented in case all else failed. _Now_ , even in all this, Tony still thinks they should _talk_. Not before, but _now_ he wants to talk.

Before he can get angry enough to punch a hole in the desk, he reaches into the little box and takes out a sketchbook. Sharon even packed a pencil, knowing him well enough to know that this is what he likes to do when he can't relax, needs to get his thoughts in order. Sketching is something that helps him focus, helps him to calm down. Maybe that's exactly what he needs.

He picks it up, flips through the pages to find a space to start some new sketches. Instead the page falls open on a sketch of Tony, crouching over something in his workshop, wearing a dirty tank top and lost in thought. Steve freezes, his hands tightening on the pages. He flips forward, sees a sketch of Iron Man, armor shining in the sun, Tony asleep on the couch, Tony laughing, his nose wrinkling slightly as he does so.

He tries to hold on to his anger, tries not to let the sadness come to the surface.

He knows he's going to go see Tony; knows it's not going to end well.

But he puts on his uniform, makes ready, tells nobody.

He won't tell anyone that it's because he misses Tony more than he hates him.


End file.
